Christmas Eve...

We didn't have any real plans for Christmas Eve this year, but we wanted to do our traditional fondue even if it was just the three of us. Then it turned out that our good friend Sean and his brother were going to be in town for Christmas Eve so they came for the fondue party too! It was great! So low key, just the best stuff that we love...

Two kinds of crab...

and a whole lot of veggies, shrimp, chicken and beef!!! (I'm pretty sure I'm the only person out there that puts pictures of raw meat on my blog... but I'm okay with that).

Santa made an appearance...

Tru admiring his new Christmas pajamas.

I'm really sad that all of my pictures turned out super blurry. I could not for the life of me figure out how to take a good picture that night. Time to get a new camera... that's on the list for 2011. Until then, enjoy the blurry pictures... cause they're all I got!

So handsome...

Cuddle bug loves his mama.

Like a lot

Malka and her grandson Oriel came by for a bit. I always feel bad because fondue is so not kosher... at all! But I made some good truffles for Oriel to eat. Malka is not orthodox but her family is. I'm glad that they still come and hang out with us though.

The rest of the gang... Camile, Blake, and Seano. I'm sure they loved that I was taking pictures of them...

It was a great night! After Tru went to bed we stayed up and put Christmas stuff around the tree. Thanks for coming over guys and spending the night with us!

Helping Jenny...

This is my dear friend Melissa... I like to call her Elmo because that's what I know her as. We worked together up at Brighton Girls Camp about 8 1/2 years ago and became very good friends.

This is Melissa's mom Jenny. Melissa is hosting an auction to help her mom who has been battling cancer for a very long time. Longer than I have known her... The auction starts tomorrow and goes until Monday the 13th. I'm auctioning off one of my custom family trees there.

So please head on over there this weekend!!! Get some Christmas shopping done and help out my sweet friend's mom. I can't think of a better thing to do this time of year, can you?

Going to the mountain...

Our adopted grandma Malka doesn't get out too much, so we try to take her out whenever we can on little day trips. So on Saturday we stole her and took her on a drive up Mt. Charleston to see if the leaves were changing yet. It was a beautiful drive and nice to get out of the 95 degree weather and enjoying a cool 70 degrees!

We brought food for a picnic but most of the picnic areas were closed down. We ended up just parking by the meadow and eating from the car. Tru started rolling around in the dirt as soon as we got there...

Malka was a good sport as always and didn't mind eating by the car.

I love kisses from this kiddo... I'll take them anytime. The scenery was beautiful and the aspens were a beautiful golden color. We don't get the deep reds and oranges out here but I'll take gold.

Tru wanted to take a picture of Grandma and Dad... I think that he did a pretty good job.

Since it was Malka's birthday on the 15th and mine on the 29th, we brought a cake to celebrate! Malka is a young 83 years old now. Her body isn't working as great as she would like it to but her mind is all there. She is super sharp and has a great sense of humor and we love listening to her stories...

Birthday girls... I love Malka's facial expression.

And of course Tru didn't want anything to do with dinner but loved eating the cake! Stinker child...

Walt...

My friend Taylor had a dream once. In her dream she and I were sitting in her back yard watching our boys run all over the place... while we sat and sipped lemonade. She said that we had quite a few boys running around out there, and that made her happy.

You see, Taylor and I have a special kind of friendship. We have something that bonds us together pretty tightly. That bond is...

We have to fight like hell to get our kids down here...

I met Taylor when we were living out in Hawaii. She and I were in the same ward, but I wouldn't say that we were friends. I don't think that I ever had a conversation with Taylor that went beyond, "Hi, how are you?" the whole time we were living out there. We hung out with the same group of friends but we rarely spoke. I don't know if I can explain the reasoning for that, but that's just the way it was. One day she bore her testimony about how she had lost some babies through miscarriage and suddenly I felt a little more bonded to Taylor than before. When I moved from Hawaii I was pregnant with Tru and she was pregnant with her first son J.

Then through the miracle of blogland... Taylor and I became friends. We bonded over stories of breast feeding, nap schedules, and being so drunk in love with these little boys we had. It didn't really matter what trials we were facing in trying to raise our sons, we were just so happy to have them!

When I had Clayton, Taylor was one of my biggest supports. There was a package on my doorstep the weekend we got back from burying our son from Taylor. She would text me all the time just to see if I was doing okay. She was always there, long after the shock of his birth was forgotten. She was there. She drove through my town one day and wanted to stop by for a few hours and I was a little nervous about that. I had never really hung out with Taylor before... wouldn't this be a little weird? Well, it wasn't. I'm a little sad that I missed out on some good times I'm sure we would have had out in Hawaii if we just would have figured it out a little sooner.

The same thing happened when I found out I had cancer. Taylor never ceased to check up on me. Always there if I needed to talk. Always there to offer support. Taylor is one of two people who came and stayed with me towards the end of my chemo to help with Tru. I again wondered if we would be able to keep a conversation going for a week when she came because we had never spent that kind of time together. Once again, I found us not being able to keep quiet! There was so much to talk about! Taylor is my long lost friend, who has been amazing to me through everything. She is a gem and I am so lucky to have her in my life.

My heart is aching today for my dear friend Taylor. I received the worst text imaginable from her on Tuesday... it read, "I'm 18 weeks and my water broke."

What? This can not be happening! There is no way that Taylor is going to have to go through this. There wasn't anything to say, other than assure her that I would be praying for her. She knew as well as I knew what that meant... while her situation was slightly different, she brought her sweet little boy into the world the same way that I brought Clayton in the world. After being on bed rest, and supposedly taken off because things were looking good... it all comes to an end when your water breaks and you have to give birth to a baby knowing that it wont make it.

Sweet little Walt Taylor Will made his way into the world on August 4, 2010. His perfect little body fought a good fight, and then he was sent back home to Heavenly Father. My heart is aching for Taylor and Chris today. I hope that I can be as supportive and loving of a friend to her as she has been to me. One thing that brings me so much comfort is that I truly believe that Heavenly Father knows us. He knows what trials we will face in this life and I believe that he sends us earthly angels, friends, to help us through it. I don't think there is any question why Taylor and I needed to be friends, we need each other. Heavenly Father knew that...

I also can't help but imagine Clayton and Walt, looking down on us, I'm sure they will be the best of friends. I'm also sure that they will be there on that sunny afternoon when we get together for our boys to play, while we relax and sip some lemonade. I love you Taylor.

Sunrise Hike...

When I realized that the weekend of the Brighton Reunion was going to be the same weekend that marks one year from when I discovered my cancer... I immediately had a great big goal in mind. Up at Brighton they do a hike called the sunrise hike where you wake up at 3 AM and hike to the top of a mountain peak and watch the sunrise. It was one of my favorite hikes when I worked there and I used to gladly made the sacrifice to wake up at that awful hour to watch the sunrise. Once I realized they would be doing this hike at the reunion on the morning of July 31 (one year from discovering my lump) I really really wanted to do this. It just seemed like such a huge thing, to be able to make it to the top of this mountain peak exactly a year later and be there when the sun came up.

I knew that it would be a stretch... that only four months after finishing chemo I might not be up to hiking for three hours to see the sunrise. This was the main reason why I've been trying to push myself to exercise and get some energy back so that I would be able to do this hike. I didn't tell very many people about this goal because I didn't want others to know how completely disappointed I would be if it didn't happen.

I had asked around to some of my Brighton friends that I knew would be there if they were planning on doing the hike... so that I wouldn't be alone! Once I got sick I knew there was no way on earth that I would be able to do the hike. I was pretty sad about it, but I decided that just being able to be up at Brighton would be enough...

When I got up to camp my good friend Pebblez asked me if I was planning on doing the hike. I told her how I had been so sick and I knew that there was no way I would physically be able to do it. I told her how it was the one year anniversary of finding my cancer and how I really wanted to do this, but it wasn't going to happen. Well... Miss Pebblez is good friends with the Camp Director Floss (the head of Brighton Camp) as am I... and she went and talked to Floss and got special permission to take me on the four wheeler up to the saddle and then we would hike the rest of the way to the top. Someone even had to ride down the canyon that night to get extra gas for the four wheeler so that we could make the trip. Pebblez husband who was there even went the night before to make sure he could get the four wheeler around the fence on the road so that we could make the trip. I tell you... I have never been so touched that someone would do something like this for me. Really, I just cry whenever I think about it.

So that was that! This dream I have had all year of making it to the top of the mountain was going to come true. I was so excited... this hike was pretty much the highlight of the trip for me. I have always called this mountain Mount Majestic... but it is also called Clayton's Peak. I'm sure that I knew that, but I had forgotten that until the night before when they were announcing the leaving time and details of the hike. Clayton's Peak... this hike suddenly had even more meaning for me than before.

Here I am pointing at Clayton's Peak. If you look close towards the top of the mountain you see a little road. That's the saddle that we road the four wheeler to and we hiked the rest of the way to the top.

So Saturday morning I was up and ready by 4 AM to make the ride. Zazu and Pebblez (hubby and wife) woke up to take me on the ride. I asked Zazu if he was planning on doing this hike if it wasn't to ride me up and he said no. Isn't that so nice of him! Plus they have three adorable little kids they had to go home to that day and they still woke up at the crack of dawn to do this for me.

Here we are at the saddle (this pic was after the hike). It took us about 40 minutes from this point to make it to the top. It was hard... we were stopping every few minutes for me to catch my breath and straighten my shaky legs. At this point it is just rock scrambling and so it was a lot of lifting your legs and hoisting yourself over rocks. I have no muscle tone in my legs anymore to do such things so this was a big challenge. We took it slow though and I was able to make it.

See... a whole lot of rocks!

I made it!! Waiting for the sunrise. The valley you see below is Heber Valley.

Me and Miss Sunny! There were so many girls that I worked with who went on this hike with me. It was so nice to have them up here on the top with me.

Here are all the girls I worked with that made it to the top with me. Danza, Pebblez, Cookie, Kodak and me...

And here she is... in all of her beauty and wonder. The sun made her remarkable appearance and made the whole journey worth it! It was a beautiful sunrise! I have always loved seeing the sunrise better than seeing the sunset because in order to see a beautiful sunrise you have to work for it. You have to get up really early, and to really see it like this you have to be really high up. It was remarkable...

Me and my miracle worker Pebblez. I will never forget what she did for me. She pulled the strings and made it possible for me to do this hike. I'm so thankful for her and her selfless attitude. Her friendship and love. I love you Pebblez!!!

I was literally on top of the world! It was amazing! I loved being up there. We got there about 30 minutes before the rest of the hikers made it to the top. It gave me some time to soak it all in and reflect on what it took to get to this point... both the hike and just in my life. While we were riding up on the four wheeler I couldn't help but think about how similar an experience it was to what I went through with having cancer. I was sitting on the front of the four wheeler, being propelled forward in the dark and the wind. It was a little scary, to be honest, but I couldn't help but think of how similar that was to going through my trial. I am the one that had to ride in the front, do the chemo, go through all the scans and appointments. But I did not do it alone. I had a huge support group that pretty much carried me the whole way. This was never a trial that I had to face by myself, I was helped every step of the way.

Even when we got to the end when I had to hike up to the top, that was tough. I just don't have the muscle tone in my legs anymore to continuously lift up my leg and hoist myself onto rock after rock. It reminded me a lot of the last few months of chemo. I was so tired and exhausted but I knew that I had to just keep going until I was done, no matter how tired and sore I was.

What started as a cool goal I wanted to achieve on my year mark, turned into a very uplifting and spiritual experience for me. As I was sitting on the top of the mountain and we were all waiting for the sun to make it's appearance I got that tight feeling in my chest. You know the one you get when you are sitting in a fast and testimony meeting and you feel like you need to share you testimony. Yep, that's the one... it happened on the mountain. I felt a little dumb but I couldn't ignore the feeling. So I told the 20 or so other hikers up there about my experience and was able to bear my testimony to them. It was a wonderful and touching moment in my life. My faith and testimony were strengthened through this experience. It was confirmed to me again that Heavenly Father knows me. He knows the desires of my heart. He loves me and watches over me and my family. He is the one who carries me through the hard moments in life and rejoices with me in the wonderful ones. He loves me.

Thank you again to everyone who made this moment possible for me. I could never had made my journey through cancer alone or my journey to the peak alone. We are all in this big world together, helping each other out in whatever obstacles we are facing.

Life is beautiful...

Brighton Reunion...

Oh my... it was wonderful! Every five years they do a reunion for everyone who has ever worked at this LDS girls camp. I was lucky enough to go up with my mom and sister who also worked up at Brighton.

When we first got there we checked in and then went around and found our names on the walls. We paint our camp names on the walls of the rooms that we stay in. Here are some of mine. I'd just like to say that I picked the name Paris because I have always wanted to go to Paris and I took 4 years of french in school... not because I like Paris Hilton. This was way before Paris Hilton even came around... she gives me a bad name ;).

I was able to catch up with some of the most awesome girls ever! There were quite a few that came to the reunion that I worked with, so it was a lot of fun to see them again! I love how we wanted to take this picture outside to be by the totem pole that we put up the summer we were working there... and I end up being the one with the totem pole shooting out of my head in the picture... classic.

One thing that I loved about seeing these girls again was that when we were all working together we were all single girls, just starting our adult lives, with a world of possibilities in front of us. It was really cool to see where everyone had ended up eight years later. Some of these amazing girls have been through some very difficult challenges with their kids or their lives. They are strong women and I'm proud to be associated with them. The cream of the crop I tell ya!

We had a program out on the lawn and we all stood in our circle and sang Shadow's Creep, which is a Brighton tradition. As we gathered to sing this guy playing the bagpipes comes out playing the song... it was great! So awesome! There were so many people there the circle we sang in stretched out over the whole lower area. It was a great moment.

Brighton was more beautiful than I remembered it. The cool air, the pine scent, the beautiful trees... it was gorgeous! I hadn't been up there since I was pregnant with Tru so it was really nice to just be there again! It really is one of my most favorite places in the world. I'm so glad that I was able to go...

I have looked forward to this reunion the whole year that I have been sick and going through chemo. Brighton was the glimmer of hope in the sky... that I would be well enough by then to be able to do this. I'm so glad that I was able to go.

Paul's Cabin...

Any time that we get to go up to Paul's cabin is wonderful... I love that place. I'm glad that Paul and Michelle let us come up and enjoy it with them... it is just so beautiful, refreshing, and relaxing to spend time in the mountains like that. I would love to live somewhere like this someday... that's the goal. We also love spending time with Paul and Michelle, some of our dearest friends. Such great conversation, we could stay up all night talking. But now that we both have kids we try to get to bed at some point ;).

Here the boys are, telling story by the fire... wildflowers everywhere... ya, this is heaven.

And how adorable is their little girl... oh my goodness! Her cheeks are so stinkin cute. So chubby...

I wanted to take her home... but I didn't. I let her stay with her parents for now...

We made hobo dinners in the fire. I thought this was funny... from left to right.

Paul's - Trent's - Mine... they have much bigger appetites than me I guess.

Tru found himself some dancing shoes... he loved jumping around in these cowboy boots!

Night with the girls...

Has this pretty face shown up in your mailbox?

It showed up in mine! One of my friends is an actress at the Desert Star playhouse and does a fabulous job. I was able to go on a date with Shannon to see Corinne's play a few weeks ago. It's been a long time since the three of us were together, we had a blast!!!! I am pretty sure thought that people thought that Shannon and I were really on a date though... we got a few funny looks.... hmmm...

We got to wait backstage after the show because it was sooooo cold outside!!

Then we headed off to Leatherby's, just like we were 16 year old girls again, out on a Saturday night. We had a blast!

There is nothing like a Tracy's Peanut Butter Cup... nothing...

It's so funny that it's been over 10 years since the three of us met. We all have very different lives and have gone our separate ways, but revert back to our old silly selves when we get together! I miss you girls! I wish I lived closer so we could do this more often!