Walt...

My friend Taylor had a dream once. In her dream she and I were sitting in her back yard watching our boys run all over the place... while we sat and sipped lemonade. She said that we had quite a few boys running around out there, and that made her happy.

You see, Taylor and I have a special kind of friendship. We have something that bonds us together pretty tightly. That bond is...

We have to fight like hell to get our kids down here...

I met Taylor when we were living out in Hawaii. She and I were in the same ward, but I wouldn't say that we were friends. I don't think that I ever had a conversation with Taylor that went beyond, "Hi, how are you?" the whole time we were living out there. We hung out with the same group of friends but we rarely spoke. I don't know if I can explain the reasoning for that, but that's just the way it was. One day she bore her testimony about how she had lost some babies through miscarriage and suddenly I felt a little more bonded to Taylor than before. When I moved from Hawaii I was pregnant with Tru and she was pregnant with her first son J.

Then through the miracle of blogland... Taylor and I became friends. We bonded over stories of breast feeding, nap schedules, and being so drunk in love with these little boys we had. It didn't really matter what trials we were facing in trying to raise our sons, we were just so happy to have them!

When I had Clayton, Taylor was one of my biggest supports. There was a package on my doorstep the weekend we got back from burying our son from Taylor. She would text me all the time just to see if I was doing okay. She was always there, long after the shock of his birth was forgotten. She was there. She drove through my town one day and wanted to stop by for a few hours and I was a little nervous about that. I had never really hung out with Taylor before... wouldn't this be a little weird? Well, it wasn't. I'm a little sad that I missed out on some good times I'm sure we would have had out in Hawaii if we just would have figured it out a little sooner.

The same thing happened when I found out I had cancer. Taylor never ceased to check up on me. Always there if I needed to talk. Always there to offer support. Taylor is one of two people who came and stayed with me towards the end of my chemo to help with Tru. I again wondered if we would be able to keep a conversation going for a week when she came because we had never spent that kind of time together. Once again, I found us not being able to keep quiet! There was so much to talk about! Taylor is my long lost friend, who has been amazing to me through everything. She is a gem and I am so lucky to have her in my life.

My heart is aching today for my dear friend Taylor. I received the worst text imaginable from her on Tuesday... it read, "I'm 18 weeks and my water broke."

What? This can not be happening! There is no way that Taylor is going to have to go through this. There wasn't anything to say, other than assure her that I would be praying for her. She knew as well as I knew what that meant... while her situation was slightly different, she brought her sweet little boy into the world the same way that I brought Clayton in the world. After being on bed rest, and supposedly taken off because things were looking good... it all comes to an end when your water breaks and you have to give birth to a baby knowing that it wont make it.

Sweet little Walt Taylor Will made his way into the world on August 4, 2010. His perfect little body fought a good fight, and then he was sent back home to Heavenly Father. My heart is aching for Taylor and Chris today. I hope that I can be as supportive and loving of a friend to her as she has been to me. One thing that brings me so much comfort is that I truly believe that Heavenly Father knows us. He knows what trials we will face in this life and I believe that he sends us earthly angels, friends, to help us through it. I don't think there is any question why Taylor and I needed to be friends, we need each other. Heavenly Father knew that...

I also can't help but imagine Clayton and Walt, looking down on us, I'm sure they will be the best of friends. I'm also sure that they will be there on that sunny afternoon when we get together for our boys to play, while we relax and sip some lemonade. I love you Taylor.