The tears didn't start flowing until I left for my fourth day of work. He didn't want me to go. He held on to my hand and said, "Trusen go to work, Trusen go to work!!" It broke my heart. I miss my little guy. I sit there in training and think how strange it is to not be talking about dragons and dinosaurs all day!
I know he is in good hands, but I miss him. I hate that I only have a few hours with him a day right now. It really does break my heart. The other day I came home and he was napping, and I cuddled up right next to him. It was a tender moment. Listening to his breath, holding my little boy in my arms. I'm so lucky to have him.
I've always been such a huge advocate of being a stay at home mom. However, I don't know that my time at home with him would be very enjoyable if we didn't have enough money to pay the bills, and buy food, and provide the necessities of life for ourselves... including this little one. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. But I have noticed that Tru has been acting very differently since I've been gone. He's super clingy when I get home, just wants me to sit on the couch and hold him all day. He suddenly doesn't know how to put his flip flops on anymore or how to put the milk back in the fridge. He wants me to do EVERYTHING for him, or with him, or having my hand on his when he does it. It's fairly exhausting, and I hate to say that he will get used to this... but I know that we both will.
I keep reminding myself that this is not a permanent situation. It's temporary. And the reason we are all running around with our heads cut off with these new crazy schedules and plans is so that we will be able to be in a better situation in a year and the rest of our lives hopefully. And Tru and I will be able to talk about dinosaurs and dragons all day again.
6 comments:
Big hugs to you both!!
I'm sorry you have to do this. It will be worth it. I had to work when Gavin was first born and it broke my heart everyday. I just had to keep reminding myself that it was only temporary. ((Hugs))
It must be hard! A friend of mine from work was having a hard time with her young child who just turned 3 and she found a book called "The Kissing Hand"... It really seemed to help him! And you are right...it is only temporary! Love ya tons....
I'm sure that is so hard. Tru is such a cute little guy. I bet he will get used to the new schedule soon. And you're right- its only temporary.
Hang in there. You're doing whats best for your family and it will all work out. I'm so glad you found a job and hope you enjoy it...even if it's hard not to be home.
That must be so hard but it's true you have to do what you have to do.
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