"Meg... you sad. Meg... you sad? Meg..."
How could I ignore that? So I broke my cardinal rule and went into his room. He was standing at the side of the crib looking very concerned. I'm not sure why but for some reason I decided to try and explain what was going on with me to him.
Me - "Tru, mommy is sad. Mom just wants to have a baby... I don't want to have cancer."
Tru - Confused look for a minute... "A baby? A baby? BABY!"
Me- "Why on earth am I trying to explain this to a two year old?!?! Go to bed Tru."
Ya, the conversation was an interesting one wasn't it. It's been an experience in itself to have this little boy who is the center of my world have no clue what is really going on here. He is who I spend 95% of my waking hours with and he is just too young to even begin to understand any of this. I think that it's a real blessing honestly. He doesn't let me sit around in a pity party for too long. He wants to play and have fun and have a fun mom to do those things with. He knows that he gets to go and play with his friends every once in a while and mom disappears... but what's so bad about that? He knows that mom doesn't have any hair but he just thinks it's "funny". He knows that mom likes to sleep a lot, and when dad is home mom is usually "sleeping". He likes to sneak into my room and crawl under the covers and pretend to sleep with me for about two seconds before he decides that it's a lot funner to jump on mom instead.
I'm so grateful to have this little boy. I'm reminded every time I look into his sweet little face what it is I'm really fighting for. Even when I'm feeling awful and I just want to lay in bed until March, he doesn't let me. He needs me to take care of him and I'm so grateful that I have him to take care of... someone to take my mind off of everything that is going on. He makes me smile every day. Hopefully, he wont remember any of this and the day will come when I will just tell him how much he saved me during this crappy time. I'm so grateful for this little boy.
16 comments:
You have a very sweet boy. I too try to explain things to Jane. Sometimes they get it and sometimes they don't. If you explain it enough, he'll get it in time.
ps. you have a nicely shaped head.
i do that with add sometimes when i'm having a blue day... act like i can talk with her about it and she'll give me some real counsel or feedback or consolation.
and she usually gives me a blanket or a doll and asks if i need to ride her bicycle.
and that kinda rocks.
That little boy of yours understands and is able to help you through these trials more than you would know it!!! I'm glad he was sent to help you through this!! He is darling...and I think you look so cute!!! I love the picture!!! XOXOXO
Such a cute picture! What a great kid you have!
What a sweet angel. He really is a blessing. And oh boy is he his mothers son! Those gorgeous big eyes he has are YOURS! You two look so beautiful in that photo. I'm sorry its hard. You are amazing. I love you.
What beautiful smiles on my beautiful kids!
meg, you're beautiful!
Paris, this post just got me so choked up. you are so beautiful with your bald head! And your attitude in all of this is inspiring. Love you!
I'm not saying anythying much different than the rest of the posts, but I got all choked up! You are so sweet! And so beautiful inside and out! You do great with a bald head! Your beautiful eyes just shine and sparkle! You have a wonderful son! God sent him to you as his little way to have a hand in your life to lift you up when you are down! Keep the chin up sister, you are in every single one of my prayers! (And no, I'm not just saying that, I mean it)
I love little Tru! He is such a sweet boy. And, you are beautiful! I love your smile.
I'm sorry you have to go through so much. I love the picture of you and Tru. It's so beautiful. You're such a beautiful woman. I'm so grateful that you have Tru it's such a blessing to have a little boy who loves you no matter what.
I too want you to have a baby rather than have cancer. Especially since Tru is so obsessed with babies right now. I am glad that we have a baby for him to play with when he comes over. I love you Meg and my hips miss you as my running partner!!!
Such a sweet story!
You look so beautiful Meg! I love your picture- and Tru is so cute too. I just had chemo- so i'm sick, I'll write you when I'm feeling better-
I just want to tell that Meg that I love her and give her a big hug. "Hang in there, it's hard, but I know happens later!". That boy is so sweet.
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