Primary...

Just after Clayton was born I was given a new calling in my ward. I was called to be a teacher in the Primary. Honestly... I was a bit bummed... mainly because Tru had just gone into nursery and I was really looking forward to just sitting and listening to the Relief Society lessons in peace!!

I'm sure glad that Heavenly Father knows me a whole lot better than I know myself. I'm glad that he knows what I need before I do...

From the first Sunday I went to primary I knew that this was where I needed to be at this period in my life. The kids were all getting ready for their big sacrament meeting program. Every week we spent a lot of time practicing the songs that they would be singing in the program. The theme for this year is "My Eternal Family" so most of the songs were about families.

Oh it was heart wrenching... to sit there and listen to these sweet little voices sing about families. Since for the past 5 months the state of my own little family has been in the forefront of my mind. I have needed that constant reminder, that constant reassurance that my family is eternal!!!

One of the songs that they were practicing is a new one that was written specifically for this year called "My Eternal Family". The first verse of this song is...

Our Father has a family, it's me,

It's you, all others too. We are his children.

He sent each one of us to earth, through birth,

To live and learn here in families.

God gave us families,

To help us become what he wants us to be

This is how he shares his love,

For the family is of God.

I don't think that a Sunday went by that I actually made it through that song without having to mouth the words for fear of becoming a bawl baby in primary!!! The messages are so simple, so true. As adults we tend to make everything so complicated... when it really doesn't have to be. I love how primary keeps everything so simple. I have been in a period of life where I've needed things to be simple, and to just focus on the big meaning of everything. Primary has reminded me of that in such a stunning way every single week.

There is another song that keeps ringing in my mind. I can't think of the name of it right now but the last verse of the song says...

Have faith, have hope. Live like his son. Help others on their way.

Do what he asks.... live like his son.

It really is that simple. I'm trying to remind myself of this. Even in the state I am in right now I can still help others on their way. We have a perfect example of how to live our lives, live like his son.

I teach the kids that are turning eight this year, and are getting baptised as members of the church. It's such a fun age to teach! I told the kids about my cancer. That they probably wouldn't see me at church for a while because I had to take some really strong medicine to kill the cancer and it would make me sick. I drew some pictures on the board of good healthy cells and of cancer cells and told them that the cancer cells had mutated and they were now trying to kill all of the healthy cells. That the medicine would kill the cancer cells before they could kill the healthy cells. I told them that I would lose my hair, even my eyebrows and eyelashes.

I mainly told them because I think they are old enough to know. I also don't want them to think that I'm not coming to church because I don't have a testimony of the gospel. I also don't want them to be scared of me if I do come and I'm wearing a hat or have no hair.

Once again... so simple. One boy said, "So if the cancer cells eat the healthy cells before you can kill them then you'll die?" My response was, "That's not going to happen, we're going to kill all of these cancer cells before they can kill the healthy cells." All the kids were totally fine with that answer and went on with their own little worlds.

It really is that simple... isn't it? When things start to get too complicated in my mind and I start to doubt... I just try to remind myself of that. We are going to kill the cancer cells before they can kill the healthy cells.... it's that simple.

So today I am grateful for primary!! It's not just for the kids, I'm sure I've learned so much more in these past 5 months than they have, and I'm so grateful for that!