2009...

Well, I feel pretty confident in saying that 2009 was not my year... Had I known what 2009 was going to entail I'm pretty sure I would have chosen to skip it all together and just go right past it.

However, that was not an option... so here I am... I made it. I made it through a really hard year.

I've been a little nervous for this whole "New Years" thing because I'm a big New Years kind of girl. I love to make new goals. I love to reflect back on the highlights of the year. I love to make promises to make the next year better than the last... but here I am... January 1st... and I'm at a loss for such things...

To say that all of 2009 was bad would be a big fat lie. There were some amazing things that did happen in this last year that I am truly grateful for. I don't know how someone can go through such trials and challenges and come out the same person. I feel like I have stood through the fire and have come out a much different person today than I was 365 days ago. Different for the better...

So instead of going through the "highlights" of 2009, I want to list off somethings that I learned this year...

1- People are good. There are so many good people out there in the world. This might sound dumb but I really had no idea that people could be so good to others. I'm grateful to have so many wonderful people in my life.

2- That Heavenly Father loves me. More than I ever could possibly imagine. He has been my rock and has comforted me day after day as I have truly needed it.

3- That I am an important person. Even if all I do day after day is sit on the couch or in bed because I'm too sick to do anything else. I am still an important person who is valuable in this life.

4- That I have the most amazing husband that there is, I'm sure of it! Trent has blown me away this year as to the dedication that he has to me, his wife, to his son, to his job, to his family, to our future. I still am in shock that he started going back to school just three days after we lost Clayton and has continued to go to school while I've been going through chemo... and has gotten straight A's in the process. HELLO!!! He's amazing. I love him so much.

5- I have not been the type of mother that I always thought I would be this last year. Mothering from the couch with a movie on is not my ideal mothering that I had planned on with my child. However... I must have done something right because I have a very sweet little boy who says "please" and "thank you" without being prompted. Who folds his arms to say prayers and reminds us when it's time to say prayers. Who picks up his clothes and toys when it's time. Who give the best hugs and kisses imaginable. I just keep reminding myself that he most likely wont even remember this time in our lives and I will have the next 50 years to make up for it.

6- It doesn't take a lot to let someone know that you care about them and are thinking about them. This is something that I did not do near enough, but I now know how important it is to let those people in your life know how much you love them. Even I can do that and have been trying to do that more.

7- That the most important things in life are family and friends. Everything else is just stuff. It's the people in your life that you care about that should have most of your attention.

Anyway... I could go on and on. I'm so grateful for the big lessons that I've learned this last year in the midst of the heartache. I hope that I have been learning what I needed to learn from these trials and that these lessons will carry me on throughout my life.

Lets hope that 2010 is a little more kind to me and my family shall we? 2009... don't let the door hit you on your way out...