I really, really loved the talk that Elder Uchtdorf gave in conference titled Of Things that Matter Most. It was something that I really needed to hear.
I knew that I was running from one really hard situation to another. There wasn't much recovery time between going through chemo and working full time outside of the home and Trent doing this intense program. Life went from being very stressful to being very stressful. I feel like we are still in survival mode over here, trying to just make it through the day most of the time. I'm starting to get better, but usually on my days off I have a little melt down. I feel bad about it, but I'm having a hard time handling all the stress that I feel in life right now.
I had dreams of the type of mom and wife I wanted to be. I don't feel like I am fulfilling most of those dreams right now. However... I'm doing the best I can. Something that I've been really trying to do in the last few months is weed out all the excess in my life and only focusing on the things that really need my attention. I went through and deleted most of the blogs in my google reader, keeping only those that are good friends and family and others that are really, truly inspiring to me. I've been cleaning out my house of all the excess junk that I really don't want around and that just makes a messier house that I have to spend time cleaning. I've been trying to spend the time that I am home with my boys, and really focusing on them instead of just living in the same house as them but doing my own thing. We are simplifying things over here... in every sense of the word. It feels really good.
Elder Uchtdorf talks about how in times of stress we need to slow down instead of speed up. Times when we are going through a hard time we need to conserve our energy instead of spend it all doing way too much. He talks about focusing on your relationships instead of on things that are not important. I really love this. He says that in family relationships love is really spelled T-I-M-E... and I couldn't agree more. This is something that has been an adjustment for me. To give up the silly things that I like to spend my time doing, and to spend good quality time with my boys. I have to say that even though I have a lot less time with them now, the time is well spent. I know that my boys go to bed each night knowing that I love them, and that they are important to me. Even if I only had 20 minutes to show them that... I'm doing it. That makes me feel really good.
I feel good about the things that I've had to say no to... things that would just cause added stress right now and take more of my time than I'm willing to give. We are still in a time of stress and I just can't fill my life with stuff that I wish I could do if I were in a different situation. Someday... we will have time for more activities but now time is for family.
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4 comments:
wow - I really needed to be reminded of that today. As I ran from thing to thing I wished that we could instead just sit at home and be together. Love truly is TIME - I hope I can declutter my life to give more to my family. Thanks for the reminder.
Meg, your blog is so inspiring and touching to me. You are so extremely righteous. YOU inspire ME. You must not be that bad of a mom and wife, if you inspire me THAT much. Someone who is a bad mom, and a bad wife would not inspire me. You are so incredible, so inspiring, so touching. I don't know how you do it all. I know I always say that, but I don't. And it's really not fair because you have had it so much harder than me. I didn't have to go back to work. My husband got his job, everything fell into place after my healing was done- literally at my 6 month mark, everythign fell into place. It felt like it was never going to come, but it did. Yours is going to be longer because of your working and Trent's program, but it will nto last forever, and eventually you will be back to staying at home with your son all day, crafting and sewing, and these awful days will feel so far away from you. Keep holding on. I think if you have a calling you should be released from it. And if you are a visiting teacher you shoudl be released from it. This is coming from the girl that does NOT turn down callings. BUT, during chemo and all of that- I eliminated all extra things- VT and calling. Tell your bishop you need to let go of these things right now. You are still serving just be being you Meg, Heavenly father will still bless you just as much if you elimate those thigns for a SMALL TIME. I'm so glad you are eliminating all extras in your life. I'm glad you are enjoying your time with your son. Love you.
I almost had the guts to call you today- ha. I had a freak out with my cancer- I worried it was coming back because my legs itch like DOUBLE HOCKEY TOOTH PICKS H-E-L-L! And I've been sleeping alot. I needed to be remined about your freinds. Didn't you say that you new some peopel that still had itchy legs AFTER cancer? let me know if that is the case- Ic ouldnt' remember-
Paris, send me an email lspencer1127@gmail.com, I would love to send you an invite to my blog.
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