It's been a busy week for me. I'm going to try an explain some situations at work without violating any patient rights or privacy (hopefully I'm successful at that). So here's what I've been up to...
... I witnessed a patient come into the ER in full cardiac arrest. Then I spent the next 40 minutes standing in the corner, as far out of the way as possible so that the pro's could do their job. I watched as they worked on this patient and after constant CPR, cardiac drugs, and being defibrillated several times... have his heart start beating again.
... I listened to a doctor inform a very very sick patient that if they did not get a blood transfusion immediately that they would die. This patient because of religious beliefs did not want to have the transfusion. The doctor persisted, they would not live if they did not have this done... the patient stood strong to their beliefs and chose the alternative instead of going against their religious beliefs.
... I watched the face of a woman who was told that the baby she was carrying in her body was not going to make it, because her membranes had ruptured way way way too soon. I watched as she grabbed her spouses hand and fully understood what this meant for her and her child. I wanted to tell this lady that I knew how she felt, that she would be okay. Somehow she would make it through this awful situation, but that's not my job... I'm just there to listen and watch.
... I stood next to a doctor who told a patient that after being in remission for almost exactly one year, that their cancer had returned. As the patients spouse and the doctor talked about what this meant and what would happen in the hospital over the next few days, the patient caught my eye. We shared a silent moment... I hope that my soft smile and eyes full of compassion helped in some little way, as I watched this patient let the news sink in.
We see around 30-40 patients a day, but these are the ones that have left a lasting impression on me this week. I can't help but wonder what in the world I'm doing! Why am I there, why am I the extra body in the room for these horrific situations? I don't know, I don't know why I feel so compelled to do this job right now, but I do. It's hard, on so many different levels...
I do however feel like there is a great reason why I am to do this right now. To be that extra body in the room. I'm not sure why, and I may not find out anytime soon... but I can feel that there is a calling in my life that I have yet to discover, and this is a piece of it. Until then I hope that I am learning how to be a compassionate human being...
mom + dad
my boy
baby clayton
Naturally Meg
4 comments:
Oh Meg. That sounds like such a heart-wrenching week; especially when you can relate to these horrible experiences. I'm sure, whether you realize it or not, you bring peace with your presence. And wow, the things you are being taught are deep.
Wow, how heartbreaking that must be. I admire every person who works in the medical field. I really do. I would probably cry my eyes out everyday if I worked in an ER. I think it takes a special person to be strong and know how to act in those situations.
I remember when I was going to echo school I got a job at LDS Hospital as an EKG tech...on my very first day, I was called to the ER to do an EKG on a patient in full cardiac arrest! I can still remember exactly how that made me feel. I think it really does make you more compassionate and it really puts things into perspective. I really love working in healthcare and in a busy hospital for that reason alone!
Wow, what an intense job you have. Do you ever cry? I think that might be my response to each of those scenarios . Oh, and I think you would make a great social worker (or relief society president...those titles are interchangeable-right?). You're life experience has given you so much wisdom & compassion.
And happy 6 months to you!!!
And happy birthday to Tru! I can't believe our babies are 3.
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