Clayton's Name...

Trent and I did not have a name picked out when we were at the hospital. It was actually not even something that we were discussing at the time because the few times we had it was an argument. We have very different ideas of what we like to name our kids. Clayton is a name that we have discussed before. I figured that someday we would name one of our boys Clayton. Clayton is a family name on Trent's side. His great-great-great grandfather was William Clayton. I don't know very much about this man other than he wrote the song "Come, Come, Ye Saints" that is in the LDS Hymn Book. 

From the time that I knew this little baby was a boy I wanted to name him Clayton. I just felt like that was his name. So in the hospital I asked Trent if he was okay with Clayton and he said he was. This name holds a lot of meaning to me now. I want to share the first two verses of this song that his namesake wrote.

Come, Come, Ye Saints - By William Clayton

Come, come, ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear; 

But with joy wend you way.

Though hard to you this journey may appear,

Grace shall be as your day.

'Tis better far for us to strive 

Our useless cares from us to drive;

Do this, and joy your hearts will swell-

All is well! All is well!

Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard? 

'Tis not so; all is right.

Why should we think to earn a great reward

If we now shun the fight?

Gird up your loins; fresh courage take. 

Our God will never us forsake; 

And soon we'll have this tale to tell-

All is well! All is well!

I will never understand what the Mormon pioneers went through so that they could live their religion and lives in peace. They went through so much more than I will ever go through in my life. I love the attitude of this song, such strength. Even though they had to leave all of their belongings behind, flee from their homes, bury their children and spouses on the way... all is well. It's okay. This is not the end. Our Father in Heaven watches over us and protects us and if we do all that we can and don't "shun the fight" he will reward us. I truly believe this.

I feel like Clayton had his own little journey. It wasn't easy, it was very hard. It was a hard way to grow my baby and to loose my baby, but in the end... all is well. He is okay. He is now surrounded by those who love him. He is with his Heavenly Father. As hard as it is to loose my baby, I know that my body will heal... my heart will heal. I would never wish this on anyone but for this sweet little boy to get a body... I can do that. I can do this, and all is well.

The first thought that went through my head this morning was, "Today I am burying my baby." It's going to be a hard day. I really don't know what to expect. We are going to sing (or try to sing) this song at the graveside services. This song has brought me a lot of strength in the past few days and I hope that it brings me strength today. 

... and soon we'll have this tale to tell... all is well! All is well!