Thank you again Christina... they are beautiful!!***I posted this yesterday but then took it down because I felt like it was a little too.... angry? I don't know. Sometimes I hate putting things up that are not really "happy", but if you've been reading my blog for a while you're used to that right? Anyway, it's back up... sometimes it's good to get things off your chest, angry or not. ***
Lets talk about something other than cancer shall we...
- Trent's health. Let's talk about Trent's health for a minute. Trent had a little health scare earlier this year, sort of. It didn't happen to him but it happened to his brother. His older brother had a heart attack, not sure how old he is but he is in his thirties. High blood pressure and high cholesterol run in Trent's family. We've always known this but have never done anything about it. After his brother had a heart attack we decided it was time to do something about Trent's health too. He went to the doc, got on some meds for these problems, and has been eating a MUCH healthier diet. I'm so proud of him for taking control of his health. He has lost 25 lbs in the last few months and is planning on losing 10 more before he is done. He is super hot! He was hot before, but now he's starting to look like the young stallion that I married. How did he lose the weight? He eats healthy food. Really healthy food. He started eating breakfast and lunch which he wasn't doing before. He eats mainly fresh fruits and veggies and chicken. It's hard for me sometimes because I'll ask him what he wants for dinner and he says, "Oh I just want a nice big salad..." and so I make it for him, even though I can't have any. I'm excited to join his healthy eating crusade in a few weeks here.
- My good friend Crystal had an adorable baby girl last week! I'm so excited for her! She is just beautiful with loads of dark hair and a sweet little face. I haven't seen her yet in person because of this cold but I will hopefully get to see her soon. Crystal has been unbelievably supportive of me over this last year. She really has been so great and is always checking on me. Something that I love about Crystal is that even though I've been going through this crazy time she has never hesitated to let me in on her life. She has never tiptoed around me with her pregnancy or her baby. She will call me up to tell me about her appointments, her excitement over finding out it was a girl, calling me to let me know when she is being induced, and called me an hour after she was born to tell me all about the birth and her sweet little baby. I'm so happy that she has let me into this part of her life and has never tried to "spare my feelings" or pretend to be anything other that what she is... happy to have this little girl. It has meant so much to me. There are plenty of other people who do just the opposite of that and honestly, it just irritates me. I'm glad to have a friend like Crystal who can be supportive of me while at the same time live her own life and let me be supportive of her.
- I'm officially overweight. I checked my BMI the other day and sure enough, for the first time in my life I fit into the "overweight" category. I can blame some of this weight gain on taking steroids for 6 months, but not all of it! I've been on a binge like you wouldn't believe. I think that I fully understand what the term "emotional eating" means. I've learned how easy it is to gain weight when all you do is lie around and eat junk all day ;). While I've fully enjoyed the boxes of girl scout cookies I've consumed, and the chips, and the pop, and the hamburgers, the curly fries (do you think I'm joking? I would never kid about this!), I'm excited to start eating healthier and get my body back. I'm trying to embrace full figured Meg but deep down I know that she is not here to stay. This is not me. I've never been like this. I love healthy food. I love exercising. It makes me feel good! But for the past 6 months I changed my motto from "be good to your body and it will be good to you" to "I'm not getting a whole lot of enjoyment out of my life right now, so if I can enjoy food then so be it!!!" I've been rebelling. Why? Because for as long as I can remember I've always been an advocate for healthy eating and taking care of your body. And honestly, I'm a bit ticked off that I had cancer at 25 years old. Really ticked off actually. I know that it doesn't make much sense, because when I go to the cancer center I'm the healthiest looking cancer patient around!!! I should be happy that I took care of my body and that it helped me get through this cancer. But I'm still ticked off... we aren't talking about cancer on this post though are we...
- I miss my boy so much. I try not to think about him because it just makes me sad that he's not with me. We talk to him on the web cam at night and read him stories. I just miss his little personality and his hugs and kisses. I'm so lucky to have him.
3 comments:
Wow, way to go Trent! That's great that he took control of his health like that.
I definitely understand your emotional eating issue. I've been really stressed about Kate's health problems and I've been eating tons of crap without really thinking about it. Its not helping my weight loss efforts. But I'm sure you will get back to your old self as soon as your treatments are done.
I'm so sorry that you've had to go through all this. Health problems are the most stressful thing ever. It is always so hard when things are out of your control. And I know how hard it must be to be away from Tru. When I was in the hospital with Kate, I missed Paige so much. Luckily, toddlers are really resiliant and they can adjust quickly. I hope things get much better for you and your family soon. Hang in there.
Meg, you need to be ticked off sometimes! It's good to let it out. So be mad!!! Let it out on your blog...because just like your other posts when you need support, your friends are here to support you through the mad times too. I know I say it on every comment I leave you, but I'll say it again! You're an incredible woman! I know I haven't been through what you've been through, but even your trials that I've never touched, strengthen me through my trials when I feel like I have no where else to turn, and nothing left to give. So I wish I could say I know how you feel - And I say this with the truest intent, although you may never believe me. If I could take this cancer from your body, I most certainly would. I would take every ounce of pain from your beautiful body and spirit, just so you wouldn't have to feel it. But I would be lying if I didn't say that I truly believe you are handling it much better than I ever would. So though you may feel the world is crashing down on you, I see you climbing to the top of a mountain higher than Everest and that you will be an incredible champion and hero! There's a light, and you're almost there :) So be mad for a while, it's healthy :)
ok- I just saw your picture and you are not over weight- you look healthy- those BMI's aren't accurate- you can't go off of those- I think you look good- and second- I can' tbelieve you could eat like that during cancer! NOTHING sounded good during cancer- I just withered away- it's so wierd that you could eat things- there's no way I could eat a hamburger or chicken during cancer- so strange how everyone reacts differently to chemo. oh meg- just wait till your eye lashes and eye brows start growing back- and your two weeks are over, and you won't have to get another treatment! i'm so excited for you!
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